How retarded is this?
I'm at a party last night, peeling the label off my Budweiser. Apparently that's "classic indicator of sexual frustration". Like I needed a bottle to tell me that.
So there's a girl in a big gaudy velvetine wedding dress, and she's drinking passion pop and proud of it. So yeah, I want it, but I don't want to be sleazy, so I don't make a play. Anyway, Alex and Clare come out when I go for a smoke and they tell me to go out front. I tell them I'm busy, as smoking is obviously an activity which requires full and utter attention. It's a pen for thought.
Anyway, they've been thoroughly enjoying watching me chat to this girl from across the room, and now they're pressuring me to go put on some "moves". I just got out of an 11 month relationship, what the shit do I know about moves?
That said, I go out front. It's about 2:45 AM, some bottles have been broken (by Alex, go figure), and this girl is crouching on the bitumen in the "immaculate fucking dress", as I complimented her on it before. She's holding a dustpan and broom and sweeping up. So naturally I take the cleaning implements right off her and sweep up the several piles of broken glass myself.
Alex and Clare come out, see me squatting with a shovel of broken glass and piss themselves laughing at me. Needless to say, I didn't get any that night.
Anyway, the point of this whole rant is coming up right about now. I've come to terms with the fact that my relationship is over, and there's no point shitting my little pants about that. It's done. I'm getting sort of used to being on my own, again, which is going alright. But I'm still in "boyfriend mode". It's like I'm rebounding, and instead of going out and fucking, I find girls to be unconditionally generous to.
By the by, the pictures are of Bubbly and Oopsy, professional clowns, and mother and daughter, respectively. There's interviews of them here on Vice, along with three other clowns.