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Subcutaneous Phat

[ website | Sir sex house to you knaive ]
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Unfit to ride [18 Mar 2009|09:28pm]
consumate double entendre

I don't remember who's scooter it is. The only person I know with a scooter is Harlan, and his is red.


ps. Love you Lach!

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I got what you need. [16 Mar 2009|06:47pm]
I'm going to be canvassing for the Australian Conservation Foundation tomorrow in Newtown. Yeah, I'm going to be one of "those people". I hope we can all still be friends.


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Distraction. [01 Mar 2009|04:53pm]

From here.

"The Coldest Spot In The Universe

Revealed in all it's glory in this Hubble Space Telescope image, the Boomerang Nebula registers in at a bone chilling -458F. That's 1° above absolute zero... the point at which atomic activity ceases. Find out more at CNN.com/SPACE.

from this awesome little page I found while googling for Nebula images.

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Hey fuckers [08 Dec 2008|01:25pm]

I've been pretty lax with my posting. I went on a road trip with dad to victoria, had a great time walking around melbourne meeting people. I bought a miniature "carpet" bowls (botche?) set from the 1950's. I shot three rolls of film, and I'll update at a later date with some scans.

I've been pretty bored since I got back from melbourne, just slumped into my computer chair. The HSC is over and my youth allowance has turned into a job seeker allowance, so I need to apply to 10 jobs a fortnight. I sorely want to get off it and not be beholden to the beast.

But how can I not smile? If you can't smile, then watch this:

If you still don't smile, you're dead inside.


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[16 Oct 2008|07:11pm]
If The World Could Vote - A site where anyone from any country can vote in the American presidential election, to no avail!

As a bonus for this shameless plug post, I'll throw some NSFW Sherilyn Fenn (Audrey Horne in Twin Peaks) behind a cut.

Damn.Collapse )


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FYI, kids. [14 Oct 2008|12:46am]
[ mood | patriotic ]

I was looking for statistics like these:

-44% of women between the ages of 18 and 60 have used a sex toy

-Of women surveyed, 15-17% were under 20 years old when they first tried a vibrator, 50% were in their 20s, 22-27% were in their 30s, and 8-10% were forty and older

-1 in 5 women report masturbating at least once a week. Of those women, almost 60% use a sex toy in their solo play1.

But found this:

46% of Australian adults have used vibrators during partner sex

the highest percentage in the world!  The U.S. is a close second.
- Durex. “Global Sex Survey.” 2005.

Finally, something to be patriotic about.

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[24 Sep 2008|05:05am]
[ mood | Sore. ]

The sun's coming up. The sky is going the pallid dead blue of a drowned man and the dark clouds are reaching their  tendrils about the city skyline. The lights are still on, birds and their shrill melodic trilling sound in the distance, too far, I think.

My chest hurts a little, apparently I'm smoking too much, according to outside sources. I bought a 30kg pouch of champion ruby on friday night, and it was gone by sunday morning. It's harder to quantify exactly how much I'm smoking since I started rolling my own cigarettes. It was to save money, for overseas travel and being a less dependant boyfriend. I've since blown that money, once stashed away in the tiny yellow gumboot on my shelf, on silly amounts of drugs that I didn't even enjoy.

I'm going to watch the sun come up. No sleep 'til Brooklyn, or something.


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I read this today and it cut me right open. [24 Sep 2008|02:53am]
[ mood | A different breed of cat ]

"So I read Serina's diary. I am one of those guys who will read your diary if you leave it around, and anyway it was pointless trying to talk to her, you couldn't get through the smoke screen.
      The first entry read, Went out with Nigel. He put the hard word on me. But I said no because I didn't want to be unfaithful to John.
Ok. Cool. Three days later.
     Nigel put the hard word on me again. I'd better not write any more.

Uh oh.

I didn't understand. I'd done a mate a favour and a mate had done me wrong in return. I guess I should have taken to Nigel with a baseball bat - nobody would have thought less of me for it - but no one said anything and the house grew more and more evil. Nigel and Serina got into this conspiracy of drug use. Jacked themselves into the fabulous anti-glamour of it all. Serina was sleeping in my bed, but she didn't want to be there. And sleeping in a bed with a girl who doesn't want to be there is the absolute manifestation of Hell as we know it. There is nothing more painful than being next to the babe you love and knowing that if you touch her, she'll flinch. It's a fucking knife through your ribs.

The house collapsed during a hopeless night out when they insisted I score some speed for them. They shot it up. Shared the needle. Asked if I wanted some. I staggered off in horror, disappeared into the night. When I got home Serina's stuff had been moved out of my room and into Nigel's. He had been in the house for a total of two weeks. Greg and Brian were completely traumatised. Greg moved out. Brian went into shock. A great house had been fucked."

19th birthday emotional rant.Collapse )

My dad's here at home now. It's good. We'll go climbing and I'll pump the rage out in a fit of sweat and physical exertion and choke it down with chalk and then soak myself in sweat again. I'm not going to stop until

It's 3:16 AM. Happy birthday to me.

PS. That excerpt is from He Died With A Felafel in His Hand by John Birmingham. It's sick and hilarious, and a good primer to moving out, which I plan to do as soon as I fucking can.

Sorry guys,

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Am I an invertebrate? [20 Sep 2008|01:31pm]

How retarded is this?

I'm at a party last night, peeling the label off my Budweiser. Apparently that's "classic indicator of sexual frustration". Like I needed a bottle to tell me that.

So there's a girl in a big gaudy velvetine wedding dress, and she's drinking passion pop and proud of it. So yeah, I want it, but I don't want to be sleazy, so I don't make a play. Anyway, Alex and Clare come out when I go for a smoke and they tell me to go out front. I tell them I'm busy, as smoking is obviously an activity which requires full and utter attention. It's a pen for thought.

Anyway, they've been thoroughly enjoying watching me chat to this girl from across the room, and now they're pressuring me to go put on some "moves". I just got out of an 11 month relationship, what the shit do I know about moves?

That said, I go out front. It's about 2:45 AM, some bottles have been broken (by Alex, go figure), and this girl is crouching on the bitumen in the "immaculate fucking dress", as I complimented her on it before. She's holding a dustpan and broom and sweeping up. So naturally I take the cleaning implements right off her and sweep up the several piles of broken glass myself.

Alex and Clare come out, see me squatting with a shovel of broken glass and piss themselves laughing at me. Needless to say, I didn't get any that night.

Anyway, the point of this whole rant is coming up right about now. I've come to terms with the fact that my relationship is over, and there's no point shitting my little pants about that. It's done. I'm getting sort of used to being on my own, again, which is going alright. But I'm still in "boyfriend mode". It's like I'm rebounding, and instead of going out and fucking, I find girls to be unconditionally generous to.


By the by, the pictures are of Bubbly and Oopsy, professional clowns, and mother and daughter, respectively. There's interviews of them here on Vice, along with three other clowns.

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Obviousness aside, some of these are really pretty. [19 Sep 2008|02:12pm]
I've never seen blotter pa

I want the Alice two up from the bottom left.


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I hear that embedding videos is a cool thing. All the bloggers are doing it. [18 Sep 2008|10:57pm]
So I'm usually pretty unimpressed by Youtube vids of people playing videogame themes on guitar. Not that I have anything against them learning it, but the internet is an unfeeling place of cynicism and darkness. You've got a guitar and a desire for exhibitionism, go busking, dude. Get off youtube and get some sun, he posts on his livejournal.
That reminds me, I was walking up through martin place today, and there was a guy with a tuba doing the star wars theme. And then he transitioned smoothly into the sinister Empire tune. Now that's what I'm talking about. I would have given him cash, because he made me smile pretty much all the way up the street. A big shit-faced grin that probably freaked out the suits and bicycle couriers, due to my emaciated facial structure and rampant overbite. I'm sure they felt the skeletal joy.

On the topic of me having no cash: Yeah, I have no cash. It's rough because I get money on monday, and I'm getting an unfamiliar nicotine withdrawal. It's actually resulting in slight physical pain. Sort of a tingly ache in my ribs, neck and shoulders. Like I mentioned, I've never been far from cigarettes since I switched to rolling my own, and so this is a whole new experience!

Anyway, I apolagize for blogging on. Here's another shot from my received files.
I like fashion photography when it looks wonderfully extravagant and apathetic. It's like "hey, we know no-one will actually wear these, let's take pretty photos." It's sort of free from that pressure of art to create statements. If it's about money, no-one really blinks.


ps. I'm spending idle moments imagining new fictionary people that I could date. Effervescent blonde draped in paisley and make me into less of a sook? Some dark boho literary wanker with a silky voice that challenges me to read more? Some 22 year old gay graphic designer who's gentle and generous but hides it all under grey eyes and prickly 48'o'clock shadow?

Help me out, guys.

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To receive and to give. [15 Sep 2008|04:48pm]
The doll from Saw?This is my boyfriend. He's way hot and drives a mad supra with leopard skin seat coverings.What can you do with a record player, cigarettes, milk, hairspray and a camera?

Nine days until nineteen. I need to cheer the hell up. And organizing a party would be good, too.

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You know the drill. [13 Sep 2008|11:15pm]

Black and white sells anything. Especially when you try and convince a friend to cut seventy five odd percent of her hair off.

Ran into him once waiting at Town Hall. We had some cones and thai in hyde park. I was going to go hang with him in the blueys, where he lives, but I never did. It makes me feel guilty because my dad lives in the mountains, so I should really go up more often.

It was Hannah.

To get all bloggy on you, I have a fairly toxic scatting going on, and I behaved like an obnoxious twat last night.

Also, I want to write a CV for a sex shop. What should I include? "Open Minded?"

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Another Three Random Images from MY RECEIVED FILES. [23 Aug 2008|05:39pm]
[ mood | Procrastinatory. ]

The best part is, if you're disgusted, offended or even a little miffed. I just received them, it's not my responsibility! 

Hover for captions and info.

I don't remember where this came from. But I do have a recollection of a friend of mine wanting to make a t-shirt out of it. They may have actually done it.

Sent by Leon. This is a genuine shot from a computer game. All I can say that even a computer game designer can't do that by ACCIDENT.

Another photo I have no idea who sent to me. One day some-one went through and pointed out it was Newtown Cemetary. Then I asked around and found out that's actually Nick Stabback skulking in the background. 

And I'm spent.


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Things I won't be able to listen to. [22 Aug 2008|10:06pm]
[ mood | Apathetic, I guess ]

For a while, at least.

-Cat power.
-Kings of Leon
-Joanna Newsom
-Love Outside Andromeda
-The White Stripes
-Sonic Youth
-Thurston Moore
-Nick Cave
-The Breeders

It could be a real problem.


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Underwater photography? I refuse to use innuendo. [22 Aug 2008|01:37am]

Underwater shots I grabbed from a pretty piss-poor fashion shoot on Vice. Got me thinking, though. They can look pretty excellent, but who can be bothered? Me and Alex talked about grabbing one of his holgas or something and just sticking it in a zip-lock, but I'd want to know it works before potentially wasting a camera.

Does anyone have any underwater shots that they've taken and can post up? Any tips?

For locals and "real-life friends", it's summer soon. My studies will be over and I'm definately going to be wanting to jump in the water with some friends and take some shots. Public pools aside, does anyone know any bodies of water around sydney we could jump in and frolick around in the bubbles with our hair and clothes floating around? Anyone got a pool? Anyone have any underwater cameras?

Cross-posted. But you get the drift.

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She had eaten her dog and she was back for more. [02 Aug 2008|03:25pm]
"There's a back of a truck selling smoke free lungs, And there's a back of a track selling alien pods, and there's a back of a truck selling game-show hosts, and there's a back of a truck selling the souls of the dead, and there's a back of a truck selling crumb free bread. This is New York. Now there's a back of a truck selling the back of a car, and there's a back of of a car selling roadway maps, and there are roadway maps selling the back of a head. Hey how much for that back of a head, man? Hey, waitaminute, heywaitaminutewaitaminute there, waitaminute there that's my back of a head, Hey, you can't sell that man, that's my back of a head. Hey, hey, sell it back to me, hey. Sell it back to me!"
If you can pick it up and are a Regina Spektor fan, get 11:11. Shit it's a fine album.

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Good Karma weekend. [23 Mar 2008|05:32pm]
[ mood | It's all about context. ]



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Folk as shit. By agnu. [11 Mar 2008|12:15am]
[ mood | fauxlk? ]



Just updating because I neglect my LJ Friends. Who might not know I'm back on the horse (being stoic and studious). I've made some pretty solid friends at Bradfield, which is awesome. We're actually recording a tiny LP with the gear at Bradfield. I'm just playing piano and contributing some monotone male backing vocals to their warm and comforting songs, but a song of mine is probably going in, as well as some of my ideas and chord progressions. This is inbetween assignment brain explosions so common in these two weeks. Bradfield is good, but it takes willpower not to get stoned often. But other than that, I really like it.


I also have a girlfriend. A real one. We're disgusting and monogomous and awesome. Eat it.

your errant livejournal pal,
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Word Mother: A Haiku [20 Feb 2008|12:15am]

I hate scrabble mum
it is your passion, not mine
ooh triple world score

As for the five dollars. I spent it on ice-cream sandwiches.

NineMSN is too funny to not take these screenshots more often. One day I will publish a book of them.
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